Two reasons why I’m a weirdo
Monday, October 26th, 2009
This is what the rain can do to a person.
The rainy season unmistakeably arrived in Portland today: Streets are flooding, umbrellas are out, and Californian expatriates are preparing for the End of Days.
I’m no stranger to the gloom that perpetually overcast skies bring with them, but I’m also notoriously bad at preparing myself for the winter doldrums. Well, not this time! I’ve got a foolproof 30-day regimen that’s guaranteed to ease me in to Oregon’s annual unpleasantness with finesse.
During the month of November, I will write a 50,000-word novel, abstain from shaving (not that anyone will be able to tell) and blog about the whole unfortunate thing.
So why write a novel? I won’t deny the appeal of adding another outlandish boast to my repertoire for cocktail parties and art-gallery soirées, but I’m also chiefly interested in the lessons to be learned from committing myself to a major project I know very little about and forcing myself to get through it by the skin of my teeth. I’m notoriously bad at committing to work until the eleventh hour (thanks, college!) and I’m eager to see if there’s actually any reward to be found in pacing oneself when undertaking a massive effort.
As for the lack of shaving? That’s more of a “just get it over with” type of situation. As a man, I am theoretically blessed with the super power of growing facial hair. But thanks to some rather unfortunate genes and sour luck, I rolled a few natural ones at my moment of conception and wound up a couple decades later with a distressingly uneven smattering of facial hair.
Thankfully, I live in a city where an unshaven person who spends hours each day writing a meandering novel looks just as natural as a fat man in a button-up shirt, spurs and a ten-gallon hat raising a pair of pistols to the heavens does in Texas. (I have never been to Texas but I am told this is what life means to a Texan.)
It’s an altogether foolish plan for self-improvement, but at least my friends and family will get a few cheap laughs at my expense.
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